Stay tuned for this week’s exciting episode of The Breakroom Saga. If your office’s breakroom is a hotbed of unresolved conflict, you’ll recognize these characters and their dramas. .

At 3 p.m., “Harry” exploded into the manager’s office because someone swiped his turkey and cheese sandwich. According to Harry, one bite would have convinced anyone mistaking his sandwich for theirs would they’d made a mistake because he used Jarlsberg cheese and fresh tomatoes. Harry’s now walking through the workplace checking everyone’s trashcans and desk drawers for “evidence.” He vows that if no one confesses, he’ll declare open season on everyone’s food. Predictably, the Practice Manager sends out an office-wide email requesting employees respect others’ food.

The manager in another workplace installed two large pod-style coffeemakers so no one had to wrestle coffee grounds in the morning. Unfortunately, “George” mainlines coffee and fails to notice the “add water” light. Or perhaps he does, because he’s known for filling several large cups at a time, leaving both machines with blinking “add water” lights after he returns to his desk.

And, apparently, no one at a third workplace knows how to clean up their messes. Periodically, the front desk staff leaves large notes on the fridge and cupboard doors reminding everyone “it’s not that much bother to rinse your dishes and put them in the dishwasher!” When the ad agency manager comes though, she strips the notes and sends out an email reminding everyone that account executives occasionally take clients into the breakroom and clients don’t need to see either the messes or the notes. According to the front desk staff, it’s the agency manager who most often leaves her unwashed cups in the sink.

Then there’s “Rachel.” She prefers talking on speakerphone when in the breakroom. As a result, anyone getting a cup of coffee or microwave learns more than they want to about her pesky medical issues and husband’s annoying habits. When a coworker respectfully suggested Rachel carry on those conversations in the restroom, Rachel responded in horror, “and have him hear the flushing toilet?”

If you’ve wondered why the breakroom, intended as a place where employees can connect and refuel, instead becomes a breeding ground for festering conflicts, the answer is simple. The common solutions, such as the “don’t swipe others’ sodas” emails don’t work. The posted signs help the front desk or office manager blow off steam, but the only ones that command attention are the “undated or expired food will be tossed on Friday.” Everyone rescues their fresh food, or grumbles later, but leaves their science experiments to their fate. Hungry food thieves don’t respect labeled names on food, but simply look around to ensure they can sneak the food away without detection. Two microwaves ease the problem caused by microwave hogs but result in two microwaves needing cleaning.

George’s workplace fixed their problem—by accident. They invited me as an HR consultant to provide a communication skills seminar because their client survey revealed clients considered the engineers lacking in conflict skills. Knowing the engineers would consider the training a deadly time waste, I sent out an advance email. The email, titled “send me your fridge food thief stories,” asked for breakroom conflicts so everyone could practice their skills on real issues. That’s when I leaned about George and others. Actual problems flooded my inbox. When I distributed the session’s handouts, the attendees turned to the packet’s last pages and started laughing.

When we started the skills’ practice, George learned he hadn’t traveled under the radar with his “I never see the add water light” protest. Everyone vied to be the one who confronted George, and the real George’s ears stayed red through the remainder of the session. Similarly, others discovered their high rank on the “suspect list” for leaving dishes in the sink or stealing sodas or yogurts.

As you might suspect, while the training provided useful conflict skills, the more important outcome was an end to the breakroom sagas. The breakroom culprits discovered others knew exactly who left dishes in the sink, messes in the microwave, snuck off with others’ sandwiches or overshared during speakerphone conversations.

Would you like to try this at your workplace? Ask for a few true stories and see what turns up—or perhaps it’s safer to simply leave this article on the breakroom wall.

Lynne Curry, PhD, SPHR, SHRM-SCP and author of “Navigating Conflict” (Business Experts Press, 2022); “Managing for Accountability (BEP, 2021); “Beating the Workplace Bully,” AMACOM 2016, and “Solutions” is President of Communication Works, Inc. and founder of www.workplacecoachblog.com, which offers more than 400 articles on topics such as leadership, COVID, management, HR, and personal and professional development.  Curry has qualified in Court as an expert witness in Management Best Practices, HR, and Workplace issues. You can reach her at https://workplacecoachblog.com/ask-a-coach/ or follow her @lynnecurry10 on twitter. (c) 2024