Question:
“Eric” loves one-upping other employees in meetings. While he sometimes does this to me, by loudly posing contrary opinions, this morning he slammed another employee, also a hothead, who argued back.
I told employees to stop. Neither did. Eric, however, raised his voice. I felt forced to raise my voice and didn’t like the person I became.
It was a mess. What should I have done instead?
Answer:
If an employee acts inappropriately in a meeting, ask him or her to stop before another employee feels pushed to defend or attack back. If he continues, say, “let’s take that offline after the meeting.”
If he persists, tell everyone else, “Offline just started. Could the rest of you leave us?” By letting everyone else leave, you spare them the time waste and conflict. You can then resume the staff meeting, with or without this employee.
If Eric raises an opinion contrary to yours in a meeting, defuse potential conflict by asking him questions to understand his views. Once he’s explained himself, summarize what he’s said and then outline the reasons you’ve decided on a different view. If he then voices an additional perspective that has merit, again listen to him.
Finally, you mentioned you supervised two hotheads, yet you came down harder on Eric. Is that because he takes you on, and so you over-react to him? If so, you may need to take yourself offline as well.
